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Tammy, I am trying to absorb the horrible fact that you are no more. It is impossible to absorb. I think about you a lot & recall … it keeps coming into my mind – what would you have said about it all, that people talk about you, write about you. You would most likely have said: “What? How come?” You would ask: “Is this real? & all of these people were there?  She was there too? What did she say about me? Are you sure?”

This is Tammy as I have learned to know her... always doubting, reserved, distancing ,does not like to be in the center, but with it – sees & observes, hears & absorbs situations & people even from a distance & from the sides, & knows , understands & analyzes & explains everything with wisdom & lots of sensitivity. Tammy, such an interesting & complex person, full of inner contradictions who holds within her both the tendency to be doubtful & reserved, criticizing each sign of pretense,objects to rules & regulations, definitions & frameworks, within this rebellious person a very sensitive soul was hiding, who was thirsty for love & for the recognition of society, which – I am pleased to say – she received plenty of,  during the time she was so ill, & she even spoke about it.

At times Tammy was all embraced with an embattled mood, but she was able – at the same time -  to laugh & use humor as a way to solve awkward situations. We used to enjoy so much together inventing & planning funny situations out of the lives of the students in preparation for the End of The Year performances in the past two years. There was no other director who could bring out of the students funny situations in preparation for staging creative performances.

I have many memories of Tammy. I would like to share one memory that represents for me who Tammy really was. My father died 6 years ago, in old age in the kibbutz. I left a message for my colleagues to not come to the funeral because it was so far away, but as the funeral started I notice Tammy. At that moment I felt so good. I did not think it should be so important for me… I told Tammy that I’ll never forget this gesture. And this is Tammy for me – so sensitive to the other & having tones of compassion & giving & all quietly & with no calculations.

Tammy & I worked together for several years as an educational team for our classes. In addition to difficulties, that at times came out of different approaches to the way of handling the classroom, I was always appreciative of the special connection she had with her students (this I am sure she would have liked to hear…) & her ability to touch them, to see them, to find in each & every one of them the beauty, the uniqueness & simply love them. and this is I believe the essence of the being & function of an educator. Tammy was a real  educator & she gave this term so much meaning. She never gave up on students, even when everybody else gave up. even when students “disappeared” for long periods of time, she tried to reach out to them in any possible way & send them the message that she is there for them. & most of the time she succeeded.

Tammy, parts of you are still a mystery for me. I wanted to get to know you better, to understand & possibly to give more… but I did not get enough time. You left too early. I miss our heart-to- heart conversations, your wisdom, your stories about your childhood, about the schools where you taught in the US, on people you knew, on our students who became adults, I wanted to tell you about some who

I have met & what they are doing now – you would have been proud to hear.

Tammy’le, you left me & all of us with a sense of big & painful longing & wuth big hole in our hearts that cannot be filled, but, along wuth it, I feel that we were blessed, that we were lucky to get to know such a unique & beautiful soul as you were.

I will end my eulogy with the poem by Nathan Zach: “A Second Bird.”  This poem describes a meeting of once in a life time.

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"I saw a beautiful bird,

The bird saw me

Such a beautiful bird I will never see

Till the day I die.

I sensed a quivering of sun

I said words of peace

Words I said last night

I won’t say again today"

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Noa Shamban