When I think of Tammy, I think of hanging out at my apartment or hers or in a string of diners in NYC or Israel- just talking and talking.  Didn't matter where.  I could not see her months and when I did it was as if no time had passed.  Being with Tammy was the easiest, the most natural, of all my friends. 

I first met Tammy in her early 20' when she was a lifeguard at a pool where I took my class swimming every week.  We struck up a fast friendship, and I encouraged her to teach at PS3.  Years later when she taught 5th and 6th grade several teachers took our classes on a beach trip to Brighton Beach. Tammy stayed in the water for four hours swimming back and forth the whole time the kids were in the water, to keep everybody safe.  This went beyond the water.  You were always safe with Tammy because you could be yourself, knowing she'd never judge you.  The only person she judged was herself, usually with too much hardness.

I saw Tammy as an uncomplaining warrior and Renaissance woman, we all did. There was nothing she couldn’t do, nothing she couldn’t learn if wanted to. Whenever she wanted or needed to reinvent herself, she did.  I remember when she told me she was hired as a computer teacher in Israel, and laughed about her lack of knowledge.  Then she taught herself and was excellent at her job. 

What made Tammy a great teacher was the same as what made her a great friend, her genuine interest in you and her lack of judgment.  Tammy was incredibly smart and creative.  Her musical talent was at the forefront.  I remember her preforming with Women of the Calabash on her shekere.  When she came over, she often helped me on the piano and taught my kids simple beats on a drum she brought them.

 A particular memory is of her playing the African finger piano for me with so much soul.  Tammy was deep, but her depth was accompanied by easiness and humility.  I’ve always known Tammy to live simply, without a lot of stuff...  Just a cat or eight...  spending a lot of her money on feeding the neighborhood strays. A caretaker, extremely generous.  When I came to visit her in Israel, she insisted on giving me her bed.  Then she took me everywhere, from the Dead Sea to the Red Sea, showing me the country she had come to love again. A lot of laughter happened between us, a lot of llove.

I still can’t delete Tammy's name from my phone or stop staring at her face in photos.  I keep waiting for her to show up unannounced grinning noble.  She left me with a big hole in my heart, but a lifetime of memories.

 I love you Tammy, my friend. I always will

 

Lucy Rubin